George Brett of the Kansas City Royals is a fantastic athlete. He almost hit .400 in 1980, something that hasn’t been done since Ted Williams did it in 1941. He led the Royals to 2 World Series, stealing one of them from my beloved Cardinals. He was a good-lookin stud, too. My mother sat back-to-back with him at a BBQ restaurant in Kansas City and was clearly smitten.
I was a big fan of his because of his perfect swing, his chase for .400, and the fact that my grandparents lived in Kansas City. I didn’t realize you only got one team when I was 8, so I rooted for the A’s, the Giants, and the Royals because my grandparents lived there, and St. Louis because I was born there. This was before 1982 when I became a Cardinals fan for life.
Well now that I’ve seen the below video, he is truly locked in the pantheon as one of my favorite athletes of all time. NSFW.
Onto the picks for Week 12.
The problem with the Thursday night games is twofold. One, as Hernandez and I discussed earlier this year, is that Time Warner doesn’t carry the NFL Network, so I can’t watch it at home. Two, we have less time to put any real thought into our picks.
STEELERS (10.5) vs. Bengals
I hate the Steelers.
CARDINALS vs. Giants (3.5)
I always pick the Giants.
TITANS (5.5) vs. Jets
I hate the Jets.
BROWNS (3.5) vs. Texans
The Texans are the little team that could, which makes no sense because being in Houston they should have a powerhouse team. They grow ’em fat down thar! They’re not very good, but there should be very little defense in this game, so I think this one could go down to a game-ending field goal, in which case the Texans cover.
PICK : TEXANS
CHIEFS vs. Bills (3.5)
Ouch. The Bills have been slapped around the last three weeks by Miami, Jets and Cleveland (I think–I fell asleep before the game ended). If they can’t rebound against the terrible, terrible Chiefs than I give up on them.
DOLPHINS (2.5) vs. Patriots
I can’t believe I’m picking the Dolphins.
COWBOYS (11.5) vs. 49ers
The Cowboys are back! Ha-ha. I wouldn’t pick the Cowboys if I dropped them down the front of Eva Mendes’ shirt and she told me I could go looking for them.
LIONS vs. Buccaneers (8.5)
The Lions are a poor, poor team. But the Bucs don’t score much. Except for QB Jeff Gaycia.
RAVENS (1.5) vs. Eagles
The Giants put up a lot of points on the Ravens last week, but they did most of the damage with their running game. I see the Ravens bouncing back.
RAMS vs. Bears (8.5)
Kyle Orton’s back! The Rams are awful.
JAGS (2.5) vs. Vikings
I’m fuckin’ doing it again. I told myself I wouldn’t pick the Vikings, but all they have to do is give Adrian Peterson the ball and they win.
FALCONS (1.5) vs. Panthers
This is a kickass showdown. I can’t believe I’m saying that about a Falcons game. I may head to the (holds nose) sports bar in my ‘hood to watch this. I’m rooting for the Falcons. Carolina’s not a real place.
BRONCOS (9.5) vs. Raiders
Spread too big.
SEAHAWKS vs. Redskins (3.5)
It sucks to go to the West Coast, and Seattle has a boisterous crowd, but the Redskins need this one. Did anyone see the fake NY Times that came out this month? There was a sports story about the Redskins changing their name. What’s the point of wiping out an entire race of people if we can’t racially denigrate them through our sports and entertainment outlets?
CHARGERS (3.5) vs. Colts
I hate myself for loving football. Both of these teams are underachieving and pretty annoying.
SAINTS (2.5) vs. Packers
I love to watch Drew Brees play, but the Packers are a dangerous team. I sense a Monday night spanking.