Hernandez Thanksgiving Picks

Thanksgiving is the greatest holiday. There’s no pressure to buy presents like there is at Christmas, and all you’re required to do is eat and drink to excess and watch football. The misogynist history of this great country is well evidenced by the Thanksgiving tradition. I fucking love it.

Well, I actually love it a little less now because my crazy, foreign-born family doesn’t believe in watching football OR drinking. That means I either have to fight the kiddies to put the games on myself, or watch them later on DVR, as I intend to do tonight. I’ll do it because I’m a real fan, but I’m not excited about these matchups. The only potential must-see is Philly/Arizona, but that’s an NFL Network exclusive. Some fucking thanks that is. All I can hope for is that the two afternoon games are unexpectedly close. I don’t have high hopes.

Titans (11) vs LIONS

Completely unoriginal thought of the day: Having to watch the Lions every year on Thanksgiving is a travesty. I’m all for tradition, but this is brutal. They shouldn’t be allowed back on national TV until they have a winning record. It’s been a long time since they were any good, and even then they weren’t true contenders. The only reason to watch was Barry Sanders, who was spectacular. I miss that guy.

I do have one great memory of a Thanksgiving Day game in Detroit in 1982 when Lawrence Taylor intercepted a pass and returned it 97 yards for the winning TD. It was one of LT’s signature moments and I remember my whole family whooping it up when it happened. CBS will probably show that replay sometime during today’s broadcast. If they don’t they’re pussies.

Pick: Titans

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Seahawks vs COWBOYS (12.5)

Seattle is truly terrible, and I hate the Cowboys more than almost anything else in the world. This game is going to suck because Dallas is going to win by three scores and the announcers are going to cream themselves over Tony Homo and how “he’s back!” I dread this.

Pick: Cowboys

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Cardinals vs EAGLES (3)

It seems the media has finally caught on that Andy Reid is a bad coach and Donovan McNabb is an inconsistent choker. I’m proud to say that Keith and I have been on that for a long time. Either or both of them have to go after this season because they’re run their course in Philly. The Eagles window of opportunity to win a championship with this group shut when McNabb puked in the Super Bowl, but management has been too stubborn or stupid to admit it. It’s time to cut bait.

Also, tell me again why the Eagles are favored in this game? They were also favored against the Giants and Ravens the last two weeks and they got stomped in both games. This line is absurd. Arizona is a good team, and Warner is going to throw for 400 yards tonight in an outright win.

Pick: Cardinals

I’ll have the rest of my weekend picks sometime before Sunday. Happy Thanksgiving!

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